It seems like a simple enough question, right? How many times have you been asked that question? How many times have you asked someone that question?
Maybe a better question is: How many times has someone dodged answering your simple question? “Do you have kids?” or “How many kids to you have?”
Is it really any of your business how many kids someone has or if they even have kids at all?
The answer is NO! It is absolutely, NONE of your business at all.
Have you ever considered that you could be asking someone about one of their most painful and difficult challenges in life?
Here are a couple of facts I found:
An estimated 10 to 20 percent of couples will suffer some form of infertility. (www.ehow.com)
Low sperm count, decreased motility, or abnormal shape of the sperm are responsible for infertility in about 40% of these couples. Female causes account for 40% of infertility cases, and 20% are attributed to a combination of both. (www.fertility-facts.com)
On a daily basis, I get asked this question at least one time. And, it is usually a perfect stranger who knows nothing about me. Why do we feel the need to probe into people’s personal lives? Why do we feel that this is a series of questions that is OK to ask someone you don’t know?
Over the years I have learned a few ways to divert attention. I change the subject. Most people don’t even realize what I have done. One of my standard answers is “No, we have dogs”. This immediately gets them thinking on a completely different level. And I now control the situation and where conversation goes. I am immediately more comfortable with the line of questions that will follow. It took me a while to figure this out. I used to say something like “Oh, we’ll get there some day” or “We still have plenty of time”. On the rare occasion, depending on who is asking, I have been brutally honest. One time I told a cousin “Well, if my plumbing worked correctly, we would probably already have a couple”. Needless to say, he was SHOCKED, jaw dropped to the floor!!! It was priceless 🙂 Unfortunatley, I am not always in a situation where I can be THAT HONEST with people. So, I take the high road and say things that are more acceptable. If only other people were that thoughtful before they asked the question. . .
For those of us who aren’t fertile Myrtle, please consider the questions you ask before you ask them . . . This will save someone a lot of heartache.